No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
