he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
