So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
