i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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