I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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