is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
