No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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