$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
