wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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