I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
