I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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