My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
