i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
