wrigley field is MILF paradise
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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