I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
