Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
