we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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