if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
