i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
