dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I understand Curling. That high.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
