I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
