This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
