So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
