some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
