But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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