she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
