Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
