I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
