I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
They have beer where we have blood.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
