Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
