Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
