And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
