It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
