I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
