oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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