Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
