yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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