shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
