No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
