Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
