Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
