all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
