Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
