FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
