my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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