You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
