its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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