Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
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