when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
