I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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