you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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