yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
